thank-you elizabeth gilbert.

i was reading Eat Pray Love this afternoon when i came across a page or two that really struck me... maybe its just something i really needed to hear, or maybe its just a few good thoughts, either way, i just love it when someting from a book or a poem really touches me so i thought i would take the liberty to share some of her thoughts with ya'll...

Prayer

"Of course, God already knows what I need. The questions is- do i know? Casting yourself at God's feet in helpless despiration is all well and good- heaven knows, i've done it plenty of times- but ultimately you're likely to get more out of the experience if you can take some action on your end. There's a wonderful old italian joke about a poor man who goes to church every day and prays before the statue of a great saint, begging, "Dear saint- please, please, please... give me the grace to win the lottery." this lament goes on for months. Finally the exasperated statue comes to life, looks down at the begging man and says in weary disgust, "My son- please, please, please... buy a ticket."

Prayer is a relationship; half the job is mine. If i want transformation, but can't even be bothered to articulate what, exactly, i'm aiming for, how will it ever occur? Half the benefit of prayer is in the asking itself, in the offering of a clearly posed and well-considered intention. If you don't have this, all your pleas and desires are boneless, floppy, inert; they swirl at your feet in a cold fog and never lift.

Fate

I can decide how i spend my time, whom i interact with, whom i share my body and life and money and energy with. i can select what i eat and read and study. i can choose how i'm going to regard unfortunate circumstances in my life- whether i will see them as curses or opportunities (and on occations when i can't rise to the most optimistic viewpoint, because i'm feeling too dang sorry for myself, i can choose to keep trying to change my outlook). i can choose my words and the tone of voice in which i speak to others. And most of all, i can choose my thoughts.

Thought

This is not a repression or denial. Repression and denial set up elaborate games to pretend that negative thoughts and feelings are not occuring ... instead admitting to the existence of negative thoughts, understanding where they came from and why they arrived, and then- with great forgiveness and fortitude- dismissing them.

So i've started being vigilant about watching my thoughts all day, and monitoring them. i repeat this vow 700 times a day: "i will not harbor unhealthy thoughts anymore."